First off, some housekeeping. You may notice that I turned off the "comments" option on this blog a couple of days ago. Unfortunately, a collective of spamming bastards has been attacking the blogs hosted here on my friend V's swirldesign.com site, including mine. (The other ones were hammered so badly that she simply decided to shut them down.) Last Thursday, I awoke to discover that some 50 comments had been left by these vermin, peddling products from viagra to online casinos to the penis enhancement solution du jour. So enough was enough. Instead of spending several minutes each day trolling the comments board for spam and then deleting offensive messages, I turned off the functionality. Ah, the Easy Way Out.
None of the comments that anyone has left for me over the past couple of years has been deleted; it's just that the general public can't read them now. It sucks. I'm pretty pissed off about it. One of the reasons I do this blog is to read the comments that people leave for me. I consider it one of life's simple pleasures, right up there with getting a seventh chicken strip in a pack of six or with hearing that Chest Pain Cheney has clogged yet another artery. You'll have to e-mail your comments to me now, but I assure you I'm still reading them. I get a lot of pleasure in receiving them.
For what it's worth, "turning off" the comments option hasn't completely solved the problem. Somehow, using some sort of spam voodoo that I don't truly understand, my vile nemesis still left another half-dozen missives for me this morning about online poker and a bunch of other trash. Nobody but me had access to these messages, but I didn't take it as a positive sign that I was still receiving them. If it continues, I may wind up moving the blog and all its archives over to a different host. Should that happen, I'll give everyone plenty of notice. Like you all are losing any sleep over this.
THE SECOND BIG THING going on, and it's much bigger than this whole spam escapade, is the house. I wrote in my last entry that Tiersa and I had made an offer on a house in Tracy, a growing town about 35 miles east of our current home in Fremont, the Goose Capital of America. The offer was accepted, but we decided last week not to go through with the purchase for reasons that probably should not be revealed in this space. I'd happily explain our rationale to anyone who is genuinely curious; just send me an e-mail if you're among this lot.
So it'll be at least another six more months here in Little Kabul, which means Geese! Geese! Geese! At this point, I wonder if people in Canada are asking, "Hey, whatever happened to all the geese, eh?"
IF YOU EVER NEED SURGERY, I highly recommend you stay the hell away from Romania.
According to the Australian news portal news.com.au, "a Romanian surgeon underwent a fit of madness while operating on a patient's testicles and instead cut off the man's penis and sliced it into three pieces, hospital officials said."
The surgeon, Naum Ciomu, was described as a senior member of the hospital staff and a professor of anatomy. One could conclude that he is also a sick pervert, but who are we to judge? Perhaps he felt threatened by the penis, believing instead that it would better serve mankind by being redistributed into bite-sized pieces.
The doctors who have been called upon to fix the penis said they would try to restore the patient's urinary function but doubted he would ever have normal sexual activity again. That is, unless you consider "removing the penis and setting it on the nightstand until morning" normal.
According to a hospital spokesman, Dr. Ciomu "has been banned from entering an operating theatre for two months pending the results of an investigation by the medical council," meaning he could be chopping penises into tiny bits again by late September.
FINALLY TONIGHT, while we're on the topic of detached penises, our esteemed governor is in the news again.
Gubbernator Schwarzenegger has been a relatively popular, albeit inept, chief executive since taking office several months ago. That all changed over the weekend when he decided to attack the state legislature — check that, only Democrats in the state legislature, and, come to think of it, Democrats in general — for not accepting the short-sighted Ahnuld-approved budget that was bought and paid for by corporate lobbyists. Why, Ben Gay even took a page from the Karl Rove Political Handbook, projecting his own unsavory and dispicable actions — in this case, selling out to lobbyists — onto his political opponents.
Governor Gropenführer's political tactic is to go to districts served by Democratic lawmakers who don't approve of his budget and call for their ouster in the upcoming election. Strangely, while he's standing on some platform in Chino or Stockton, he never finds the time to point out that the items in the state budget still up for debate are anti-labor components he included in an effort to kiss the ass of the state's tort-reform special interests. Big Dumb Arnold has also begun referring to legislators who disagree with him as "girlie men," a remark that isn't going over especially well with women and the homosexual community. According to today's Chronicle:
The comment came during a rally on Saturday as Schwarzenegger railed against Democrats who he said were holding up the budget by catering to special interests.
"If they don't have the guts to come up here in front of you and say, 'I don't want to represent you, I want to represent those special interests, the unions, the trial lawyers... if they don't have the guts, I call them girlie men," Schwarzenegger said to the cheering crowd at a mall food court in Ontario.
Democrats responded that Schwarzenegger's comments were insulting to women and gays and distracted from budget negotiations.
Sen. Sheila Kuehl, a Santa Monica Democrat, called it "troubling" that the governor used what she termed a "homophobic way of trying to put down legislative leadership."
"It uses an image that is associated with gay men in an insulting way, and it was supposed to be an insult," said Kuehl, one of five members of the Legislature's five-member Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and Transgender Caucus.
A second Chronicle article also shared this delightful little tidbit from Kindergarten Cop's crusade:
Schwarzenegger concluded a three-day tour in Stockton on Sunday by continuing to bad-mouth Democratic lawmakers, asking hundreds of people packed into a mall's food court to act as "terminators" against those who stand in the way of a budget compromise.
"I want you to go out there and go after those Democratic legislators," he urged to wild applause. "They are obstructionists. Go out there and vote them out of office. Vote them out of office, and we will put new faces in there."
It should be noted that like his apparent political hero, George W. Bush, Governor Lunkhead promised during the recall election to act in a friendly, compassionate bipartisan manner should he win the race. For the sake of reference, please note he isn't going after "lazy legislators," "shiftless legislators," "inept legislators," or "incompetent legislators." He's going after "Democratic legislators." So much for working together for the common good.
Also, isn't that cute how he once again manages to throw in a "Terminator" reference? What's even more telling is how crowds at the malls just eat that crap up like free Cinnabons.
So another Republican has said one thing, promised another, and has told lies in an effort to mislead his constituents down his chosen path. These days, if you stopped the presses every time this happened, the newspaper industry would collapse.
It should be noted that one of Schwarzenegger's top political back-slapping buddies is former Los Angeles mayor Richard Riordan, who is currently the state's education secretary and was one of Gropenführer's initial political appointments. Riordan made news earlier this month for calling a six-year-old child "a stupid dirty girl" in front of a couple of teachers and about 30 of the girl's classmates for a reason that, even two weeks later, nobody can quite figure out.
Stupid dirty six-year-old girls and Democratic girlie men. Now I know what the Republicans mean by compassionate conservatism.
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