They say that desperate times call for desperate measures, but one would like to believe that with desperation comes limits. Desperation and dignity are generally found at different ends of the spectrum; the more desperate one becomes, the less one worries about maintaining dignity. And for those who haven’t noticed, Chicken George has left his dignity in the dust and has no idea it’s even missing.
Yesterday, I wrote about Deal Hudson, a former instructor at Fordham University whom the Bush administration called upon to be its conduit to the Catholic bloc — heck, Deal was in the Oval Office advising Chicken George and getting his freak on just seconds before George the Lesser met with the Pope — despite the fact the guy used his clout to get one of his 18-year-old students, who confided in him just days earlier that she was depressed and suicidal, falling-down drunk so she would consent to oral sex with him. (One talented blogger wrote of the situation, “Does Karl Rove know so few Catholics he couldn't find one who doesn't have a history of getting teenage girls drunk and then having sex with them?”)
At the time I was writing my diatribe, I believed this was so heinous, so vile, so disgusting that it would be difficult to imagine The Chicken George Brigade topping it. But then I woke up to find that BushCo has apparently declared to the world that dignity no longer has any place in Chicken George’s coop.
Let’s take a quick look at what came out about Chicken George, and let’s focus only on the developments of the last 48 hours:
- The Iraqi Olympic soccer team pitched a nutty when players found out about that TV commercial where Chicken George takes credit for the advance of democracy over the past 32 years and proudly points out that thanks to his actions, Afghanistan and Iraq are democratic nations, free to enter into the spirited race-walking competition or what not while there in Athens. "How will he meet his god having slaughtered so many men and women? He has committed so many crimes," said midfielder Ahmed Manajid, whose cousin was killed by one of Bush's ordered attacks and who states he would be fighting for the resistance effort if he were in Iraq today because, in his words, "I want to defend my home." Iraqi soccer coach Adnan Hamad also made Chicken George's list with his comments: "The American army has killed so many people in Iraq. What is freedom when I go to the [national] stadium and there are shootings on the road?"
- The United States Olympic Committee asked Chicken George to pull the aforementioned Iraq-is-in-the-Olympics-because-of-me ad because they, like most others, don’t believe anyone should use the Olympics as the backdrop for a political commercial. Sure enough, Chicken George held his breath, pouted, and refused to remove the ad because — as we all know nowadays — Chicken George has never been wrong.
- Both the New York Times and Washington Post reported that a group referring to itself as Swift Boat Veterans for Truth, which appeared in television advertisements slandering John Kerry’s character by telling fibs about his conduct and leadership abilities while serving overseas, was essentially composed of a bunch of liars — and at least three of these veterans had actually praised Kerry in the recent past for his courage under fire.
- The New York Times connected the dots between Swift Boat Veterans for Truth and Karl Rove, the hatchet master of the Bush League, and unveiled a strategy that “would ultimately paint John Kerry the war hero as John Kerry the ‘baby killer’ and the fabricator of the events that resulted in his war medals” — suggesting that Chicken George and his cronies, who have consistently denied anything to do with these slanderous ads, practically wrote the script themselves.
- Upon reading the Times report that Bush’s team had more to do with the Swift Boat Veterans for Truth ad than they were legally allowed to, the Kerry camp filed a complaint with the Federal Election Commission alleging that ads from Swift Boat Veterans for Truth are illegally coordinated and inaccurate and that "there is overwhelming evidence that SBVT is coordinating its expenditures on advertising and other activities designed to influence the presidential election with the Bush-Cheney campaign" — a really big no-no.
- On the MSNBC television show “Hardball,” Chris Matthews thoroughly bitch-slapped some strange hack named Michelle Malkin who, acting as yet another Bush surrogate, slandered Kerry in front of a national television audience by claiming his war wounds were self-inflicted and were all part of some master plan he hatched 35 years ago to one day run for the office of president — a claim so fiendishly outlandish that Keith Olbermann, another MSNBC host, took great effort both yesterday and today to highlight just how dumb Malkin really seems to be. (While the Blogging Left seems to be having a field day celebrating this event, I can't find anyone who's writing about the real story here — why did Matthews let someone with no credibility who is only there to smear John Kerry on behalf of the Bush administration on his show in the first place?)
- Thanks to Chicken George attacking Iraq for no reason, Iran is so twitchy that they’re thinking about attacking Israel in what they’re calling — wait for it, George … wait for it — a pre-emptive strike. (Where have we heard that before?) "We will not sit to wait for what others will do to us," said Ali Shamkhani, Iran's defense minister, to Al Jazeera television. "Some military commanders in Iran are convinced that preventive operations which the Americans talk about are not their monopoly. Any nation, if it feels threatened, can resort to that." Rough translation: If George W. Bush can bomb countries just because he wants to, so can Iran.
Jeez. So how was your day? I didn't even bring up the part about how it became public knowledge today that Zell Miller, the turncoat "Democratic" senator from Georgia who will be the keynote Kerry basher at the upcoming Republican convention, referred to Kerry as "one of this nation's authentic heroes" and boasted of how Kerry "worked to strengthen our military, reform public education, boost the economy and protect the environment" in a speech from way back in the dark ages — of 2001. And the Republicans call John Kerry a flip-flopper? Zell Miller practically sprained his back changing directions on this one.
Everything you’re reading here is a fact, wrapped around my sometimes funny, sometimes ridiculous commentary. Not including the not-all-that-newsworthy Zell Miller factoid but counting Deal Hudson's hunger for drunken co-eds, there are eight separate news tidbits listed above — all of which occurred during the last 48 hours, and all of which appeared in reports found on major news sources. This is not the Drudge Report or the New Republic here — we're talking the New York Times, the Washington Post, and CNN. None of these events has been conjured up out of the ether, like far too many of Chicken George’s claims. These are all facts. They either all happened or are in the process of happening. This is real — way more real, and infinitely more relevant, than tall tales about the medals earned by some guy who commanded a boat in the Mekong Delta more than a third of a century ago.
And, dear readers, it doesn’t stop there. Over the past few years, we’ve been led into a war in which nearly 1,000 Americans have lost their lives but has done nothing to protect our country from terrorism or punish the individuals who sanction terrorist actions. The price of oil — which is perhaps the one single thing you’d like to think Bush could actually manage not to screw up — has never been higher, currently sitting at $50 a barrel while some experts predict a $60-per-barrel price by election time. Consumer confidence dipped again last month. The economy has yet to make up for the 2.2 million jobs lost during Bush’s first three years. The segment of elderly people who actually have health insurance cannot afford the medication they need to keep them alive. And now we’re in the middle of an election cycle where the man who’s been the incumbent for nearly four years believes his only hope for victory is to soil his opponent’s reputation with — there’s no other way to put this — flagrant lies that have no chance of ever finding factual backing. O.J. will find the real killers and Chicken George will find WMDs before anyone ever finds “proof” that John Kerry shot himself in the leg because he thought a Bronze Star (for which, by the way, you cannot nominate yourself, so the Bushies are essentially also accusing one of Kerry's crewmates of being a co-conspirator) would look mighty fine in his portfolio when he runs for the presidency in 2004.
My goodness, I just read that last sentence again. How much hate must someone be filled with to make that sort of claim — that the guy shot himself 35 years ago because of blind ambition and amazing, almost Carnac-like foresight? I almost can't believe that sort of hate exists, but I know next week brings with it several more news cycles with claims that will make the Kerry-shot-himself-for-personal-gain claim seem benign. "Coming up next on Fox News at 11, a hidden camera catches John Kerry killing cats for fun."
Oh wait. Senate Majority Leader Bill Frist was the one who fraudulenty adopted cats from local shelters and then killed them. And Frist is also tight with Chicken George. How could I forget?
If you’re considering voting for Chicken George and that myocardial infarction of a puppeteer he calls his running mate — or even if you’re on the fence and can’t make up your mind which box to check or which chad to dangle — in November, I don’t understand you. I don’t understand why you so strongly covet a “tax break” that puts almost no extra money in your bank account, especially when you know from experience the last tax break not only didn’t help you, but you didn’t even notice it. I don’t understand why you dislike American labor so much that you want to put their safety and well being — hell, your safety and well being — entirely in the hands of the corporations that view them as infinitely replaceable. I don’t understand why the environment means so incredibly little to you, but really big and expensive automobiles mean so much. I don’t understand why you dislike Iraqis and Iranians and the French and anyone else different — or, in all likelihood, smarter — than you, and why you seem to think gay people are jeopardizing any relationship you may have with your wife, mistress, or secret homosexual Friday-night distraction.
I don’t know what happened in your life that made you decide the only thing that matters to you is yourself and your bank account, and that it was OK to tell any lie you could think of to get your way no matter who that lie hurts, as if you were a four-year-old intent on having all the playground toys in your own private sandbox. I don’t understand why, especially in an age where any news story you’ll ever want is one or two mouse-clicks from your computer, you fear knowledge so much that you insist upon using Rush Limbaugh, Bill O’Reilly, Sean Hannity, and their spurious ilk as your sole sources of information. I think you insist upon keeping that automatic weapon because it makes you feel safe from the blacks or Latinos or some other group that scares you half to death because you’ve convinced yourself they’re plotting to break into your home and steal the crap you’ve bought that nobody else wants or cares about; we both know that gun has nothing to do with you dressing up like Rambo so you can shoot a couple of deer on Sunday afternoon and enjoy that oh-so-brief, fleeting feeling that you have large genitalia. And, for the life of me, I can’t even begin to comprehend why you think it’s OK for the President of the United States to sacrifice American lives and ruin the futures of so many families in order to attack a country that posed no imminent threat to the health, safety, and welfare of the American public at large. Do you realize how many children don’t have their fathers now because Daddy was blown up by some car bomb outside of Fallujah? Are you honestly OK with that? In your twisted mind, filled with fear and ignorance and hatred and all the pent-up rage from 250 morning commutes a year, is that price genuinely worth it?
But worst of all, I fail to understand why you can’t tell me why Chicken George should be president for four more years. I know you can tell me a bunch of lies that you use to support your desire for John Kerry to lose, even though you don’t really know why you want him to lose, but that’s not what I’m saying. I get that you've decided to dislike John Kerry even though you have no idea why — that sort of blind hatred and ignorant fear is in your nature. I want to know why you — why anyone with half a functioning brain, if even that — wants George W. Bush "leading" this country for four more long years.
Or maybe, for some twisted reason that even you can’t comprehend, you want a president who is so inept, so incompetent, so clueless as to how to take three steps without falling into the lake, that he can rack up the kind of damage that Chicken George — the biggest maladroit in the history of the American presidency — has accumulated in a mere 48 hours.